Highly Sensitive Mama - I am, Are You?
Hey There, Mamas.
I’ve been feeling more called to share a bit about this part of myself, so here it goes.
About a year and a half ago I found out I am what Elaine Aron calls, A Highly Sensitive Person.
Basically this means that my nervous system is more sensitive than 80% of the population. Because of this I am often overwhelmed easily by loud noises, lights, crowds, busy schedules and basically anything that keeps me on the ‘go go go’ cycle than many of us have found ourselves in during life and motherhood.
It quickly became apparent to me that a big part of my anxiety and depression and constant emotional breakdowns wasn’t because there was something ‘wrong’ internally with me - it was because I was living a lifestyle that wasn’t conducive to my nervous system. It was because I was living life like the other 80% of the population. I was working full time, taking care of my son, working a side hustle and continuing to see friends, family and have time with my husband. I was always with other people, always had something else ‘to do’ and never had time for peace, quiet and reflection.
Because of this I found myself crying most mornings, feeling like something bad was about to happen most days and always walking around ‘on edge’. I questioned my sanity. I questioned my choice to become a mother. I couldn’t figure out why everyone else could do this and I just couldn’t.
Then I met an amazing therapist who told me about Highly Sensitive People. I took the test on Elaine Aron’s website (link here) and found out that I scored really high. I am definitely a highly sensitive person!
This means I thrive best when I have time for quiet, space without things on the schedule and less stimulation in my day to day life.
Some other things - which I think are pretty cool - are that I think deeply about things, I see beauty in art and music and it touches me deeply, I can feel the emotions of others which when used with healthy boundaries makes me an amazing mom, wife, friend and an excellent therapist and coach!
I am a deep thinking, old soul who loves connecting deeply with others, spending time in nature, enjoying the beauty in life and creating space for slow, lazy days. This is how I thrive best.
I’ve now built a life that supports me in this. I have a business where I work from home, connect deeply with other mamas and help theme heal. I stopped making myself spend hours playing actions figures and watching cartoons and instead try to spend the majority of time with my son connecting over play dough, artwork, puzzles or my favorite - spending hours outside getting messy, exploring and having fun!
I’m continually working to stop comparing myself to others who have more stamina and capacity for long work days, super social weekends and constant productivity. I’ve started to honor my need for naps some days, my need to go to bed early (highly sensitive people often require more sleep) and my need to have time for reflection, learning and growth.
I’ve stopped making my high sensitivity something ‘bad’ or something that I have to ‘manage’ and instead started embracing it as something that makes me ‘me’. Learning and honoring this about myself has allowed me to create a beautiful life for myself, one where I feel honored and happy (most days) and where the moments of overwhelm aren’t a daily occurrence anymore.
If you think you may be a highly sensitive person, I’d encourage you to check out some of the resources below.
Highly Sensitive Person Test - https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
Highly Sensitive Person Books - https://hsperson.com/store/bookstore/
Website - highlysensitiverefuge.com
Also, if you think you may be a highly sensitive mama, I’d love to connect. Send me a DM on instagram at www.instagram.com/fulfilledmotherhood.co or reach out via email hello@fulfilledmotherhood.co.
We’ve got to start honoring ourselves and supporting each other :)
With care and kindness,
Kylee