Simple Ways To Prioritize Your Mental Health as a New Mom

I know how are it can be to prioritize yourself and your mental health as a new mom. Especially when the prevailing advice is to make time to meditate, go get a massage, take a break from your kids and MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! Now, while I don’t think any of those things are bad, I do think it’s unfair to suggest that the the only way you can take care of yourself as a mom is when you are away from your kids and family - it’s so untrue!

There are simple things you can do each day - with or without your family - to support your wellbeing and mental health as a new mom (and a mom of toddlers/elementary age & older kids!).

Signs You’re Struggling with Your Mental Health

• Feeling anxious or on edge most days

• Having difficulty sleeping or sleeping to much

• Feeling like you’ve let yourself or your family down, like you’re a failure in some way

• Eating too much or not enough

• Having thoughts that scare you, even if you’d never follow through with the thought

• Feeling alone or isolated from others, whether or not you are actually isolated

The Importance of Self-Care for Your Mental Health as a Mama

Self-care is quite the buzz word these days - but simply put, self care is any action you do that supports yourself physically or emotionally. Sometimes the benefits are more immediate, like that warm cozy feeling you get when you take that first sip of hot coffee. Sometimes the benefits take a bit longer to show up like starting to feel better 4-6 weeks after taking an anti-depressant medication or noticing your mood has started to improve after walking for 30 minutes a day this last week.

Self-care can include lavish vacations, massages, spa treatments and more - but that isn’t the CORE of self-care. The core of self-care are consistent actions you can take on a daily, weekly or monthly basis to support your physical and emotional health.

As a mom, the biggest barrier to self-care is often time. Which is why I want to share with you ways self-care can be incorporated into your routine - with or without your kids! The other obstacle I often hear is money, which is also valid. That’s why I’m going to share with you ways to incorporate self-care into your life and routine that aren’t going to cost you 10000s of dollars. In fact, many are free!

Self-care is important because as a mom you can pour and pour and pour way past when your cup has been emptied. We can continue to care for others while continually depleting ourselves. That leads to burnout, resentment and often serious physical or mental health problems. If we can combat this by focusing on filling up your cup (as cheesy as that saying is) you can find a balance where caring for others doesn’t take away from your needs.

Simple Self Care Ideas for Moms

• Joyful Movement

  • This can be walks outside with your family, stretching while sitting on the floor with your baby or getting away once a week for that exercise class you love. Moving our bodies releases happy hormones in our brains and helps relieve some symptoms stress, anxiety and depression. Bonus tip: getting babies and young kids outside during the day in the sunshine helps them sleep better at night!

• Screen Free Thursdays

  • Picking one night a week or one full day a week (whatever feels most doable for you) to not use screens. Screen-time has it’s place for sure, but overusing screens leads to higher stress levels, difficulty sleeping and prevents connection in social situations.

  • Picking a day or night of the week to put the screens away opens up space for other hobbies, times to connect with your partner and undistracted time with yourself and your family. It will feel WEIRD at first, maybe even a little uncomfortable. But overtime you’ll grow the capacity for other tasks again that will nourish your mind and body more than the screen.

  • Did you know it takes on average SEVEN minutes of talking for the conversation to really begin? The first seven minutes are often filled with small talk and catching up - it takes 7 minutes to get to a deeper level. How often do you sit uninterrupted with your partner, kids or friends for 7 minutes? Give yourself space for deeper connections on your screen free day or evening!

• Create a Simple Morning or Evening Routine

  • Routines are grounding, safe and predictable. This is helpful if you often find yourself feeling scattered, overwhelmed or unsettled in your day to day life.

  • A simple routine does not mean 5 minutes of journaling, doing some exercise and then making yourself breakfast - it can, but I know for many moms the reality is you are waking up, packing bags and supplies for the day ahead and rushing out the door to childcare drop off and work. If you have more time, feel free to make a longer routine, but if not - don’t discount the power of a simple routine!

  • By SIMPLE routine I mean something as simple as brushing your teeth and saying affirmations in your head while you do it. Put them on a sticky note next to the mirror. Or perhaps you take three deep, grounding breaths before you get out of bed and get up and do a big, full body stretch before picking up your phone or doing your first task. Small, simple grounding things you can do everyday.

  • For bedtime, this can be very similar. Perhaps you take a few minutes to stretch on the floor before bed and talk to your partner or journal about your day. Maybe you make a mug of tea and read a book for 5-10 minutes before you fall asleep. A routine for me lately has been getting in bed and listening to 10-15 minutes of my audiobook before bed.

  • Routines can shift and change as you and your schedule change, but a small simple routine in the morning and at night can help you feel more grounded and settled day to day.

• Breathing and Grouding

  • Creating space to notice your breathing and connect with the present moment is powerful for your mental health. So often we are going through the day holding our breath!

  • A couple times a day stop, breathe deeply a few times and notice things you see, hear and feel around you.

  • This simple practice can help you feel less anxious and stressed and more present in your day.

  • This is also a great practice to use in those moment when you’re feeling super overwhelmed!

I hope these self care ideas help you see that self care can be a small, simple thing you incorporate into your daily life! Other self care practices for moms include: scheduling and attending your doctor/dentist appointments regularly, making yourself a plate of dinner instead of eating your child’s leftovers and going to bed 30 minutes earlier so you can get more sleep!

What self care practice are you going to try? Pick one thing - JUST ONE! - and give it a try for the next two weeks. When you find that you’ve forgotten to try it for a day or two (which will likely happen) just pick back up and keep trying it again. At the end of the two weeks, check in with yourself and see if it’s been helpful and something you want to keep doing longterm.